It's Never Boring at Taman Safari

Usually “How many people have died here?” is not a question asked when visiting the zoo. At Taman Safari, though, the question is probably closer to “How many people have died here today?” Thankfully, we made it through the day without witnessing any deaths, although we came close to being part of a couple.

The morning started early with a 7:30 departure from our apartment. We hit almost no traffic all the way up. In fact, the most excitement we had was when Sally was looking out her window and started FREAKING OUT! She put her head in her hands and shook her head and squirmed. Then, she looked at Molly and said, “Did you SEE that?” Molly, unsure of what could POSSIBLY cause anyone to have that reaction said, “No! What was it? Someone getting decapitated?” Steph chimed in, “Was someone pooping in the street?” Leah asked, “Was there a dead dog?” When Sally finally gained her composure she stammered out, “Spiderwebs.” The rest of us lost it. We honestly could not believe anyone would have THAT reaction over some spiderwebs. So, needless to say, we haven’t let her quite live it down. But, it sure was a fun way to start the craziness that would ensue. I will say, however, that such an extreme reaction to spiderwebs unnerved Steph and I a little because we knew that we were headed to Taman Safari—a “zoo” that averages around 20 deaths per year because of the unsafe conditions and dangerous animals. Spiderwebs were going to be the least of our worries. (We managed to find the spot on the way home from the zoo and stopped to take pictures… you tell us what your reaction would’ve been….!)

Once we arrived at the zoo, Dad’s co-worker (Wan) and his family jumped out of the car with more excitement than if it were Christmas morning. Apparently, the kids (ages 6 and 8) had been up since 4:30 that morning in anticipation of the trip to the zoo. Thankfully, this childhood excitement was exactly what we needed to make it through such a full day with such a small amount of sleep. Our first obstacle: the “safari” portion. On the side of the road leading up to the park there were loads of carrots for sale. Both cars bought some so that we were equipped with cameras, carrots, and windows rolled down when we saw the first animals. At almost every turn there was a sign warning “No cameras allowed” or “No feeding the animals” or “Keep your windows up at all times”. Since there’s no such thing as rules or safety at this zoo, though, naturally we took hundreds of pictures, fed every animal, got out of our car multiple times and had our windows down the whole way. Highlights of the safari included Sally kissing a zebra, Leah being terrified of every animal, Ben and Molly getting peanuts sucked out of their hands by elephants, Ben touching a hippo tusk and then getting bit on the hand by a goose.

When we’d finally driven through the whole safari (including a lion, tiger, and bear cage), we got to part 2 of the trip. We headed over to the Baby Zoo location where the closest restaurant was located. We walked past leopards, baby tigers, a lion all waiting to have their pictures taken with us, and ended at the orangutan station. He was in a very ‘bitey’ mood, so after we made sure everyone had all their limbs, we headed over for lunch at Safari Fried Chicken. When we were all full, we went back and decided to do pictures with the orangutan while we were in the area. Dad went first, after getting permission to enter the ring with no shirt on (for comparisons’ sake on who was hairy-er!). As the crowds gathered, we saw the orangutan go from sitting gently on Dad’s lap to cuddling in his chest hair to examining him to make sure Dad wasn’t his mom. It was quite the riot, so Ben decided to go next. No sooner had the orangutan been put on his lap and Steph had snapped one picture when we saw Ben’s demeanor suddenly change and everyone burst out laughing. The orangutan had started peeing, so the ‘trainer’ grabbed him and carried him over to a bush to finish his business. He wiped him off and then handed him back to Ben for a few more shots. By then, Leah had bought her $1 ticket and joined Ben in the ring. Within a minute of Leah sitting down, the orangutan had gently pried her earring out of her ear and stuck it in his mouth. After the trainer managed to pry it out, they arranged themselves for more pictures. We saw the orangutan’s hand gently go up and start playing with the back of Leah’s head and gradually saw her ponytail start to fall as the orangutan pulled out her hair-tie. By now the crowd had lost it, so we took our final pictures and then decided to get going. Since the Dolphin Show was about to start on the other side of the zoo, we made a group decision to go to that and come back for the rest of our animal pictures later.

After the Dolphin Show and taking pictures with the Dolphins (again, for $1… a little different than the same experience in America!), we moved on to the highly stereotyped Cowboy Show. None of us still has any clue what the Cowboy Show was doing at a zoo, but it was entertaining and we were glad to see some impressive stunts and no buildings burn down. From here we headed to the “Globe of Death,” which is a terrible name for ANYTHING at Taman Safari. Again, we didn’t see what 5 BMX bikers riding around a steel ball had to do with animals, but the 8-year-old boy claimed it was his favorite part of the day, so I guess it was worth it.

Next, we went to the Sea Lion show, which was pretty traditional. One part that we all found a little odd was when the male trainer was doing the trick of “slow dancing with the sea lion.” It could have been a funny/cute trick, except that it lasted for 10 minutes too long, he had his eyes closed for most of it and looked like he was enjoying it way too much…. It was quite strange. When the announcer said it was time to move on to the next trick, he said, “Ok. Just one more dance.” Weird. We took pictures kissing the sea lion (we all hesitated at first, but then realized this was probably not an opportunity we’d have very many more times in our lives!) and then went to the Birds of Prey show. Since Birds are pretty boring, we didn’t stay long before some of us went to look at the Komodo Dragon and the rest went to save seats at the Lion and Tiger Show. That was our last show of the day, thankfully, because I don’t think our hearts or fingernails could handle anymore Indonesian “trained” animals. (It deserved its own blog post… check it out here!)

When the shows were done, grabbed some ice cream and then headed back down to the Baby Zoo to take some more pictures with animals. Unfortunately, we got back too late and they weren’t selling anymore tickets. So we walked around and took some pictures just outside the animal areas and noticed that they were extra active since it was feeding time. Dad had gone over and gotten our driver to come take a picture, so we were extremely disappointed when we found out they closed. When we went to confirm with the leopard trainer that picture time was over, he said, “Yes. No more pictures. The leopard is too hungry.” All of a sudden, Leah pulled an extra ticket out of her purse (she had bought two when she got her picture with the orangutan). The trainer saw it and said, “Oh, if you have a ticket, you can take a picture.” WHHHHHATTTTT??! Obviously, Leah was not about to enter that cage after his previous comment, so she handed the ticket to our driver and sent him in. The trainer settled the leopard down into a laying position and our driver walked in with a look of terror on his face. He ever so nervously put his hand on the leopard’s butt, we took a few shots and then he high-tailed it out of there. Shortly after this picture, the trainer put the hungry leopard on a thin chain-link leash and walked him/was dragged by him to his eating area. THAT is why people die at this zoo.

Since the sun was setting and things were shutting down, we decided to go see the elephants one last time before we headed out. Sally really wanted a picture with them, and thankfully we got there just in time. As elephant after elephant walked past us (about half not with any sort of trainer, just sort of doing their own thing in the semi-stampede), we made sure we were highly alert. Finally, before the last elephant walked away, Molly asked the trainer if Sally could take a picture with it. He of course said yes, so Sally walked over. Before even one picture was taken, someone had handed Ben a bag of bananas to feed the elephant. After multiple attempts at trying to throw the banana in the elephant’s mouth and having it pop out every time, we were informed that Sally would have to place it in there. She did so bravely and then the elephant went on his way.

We made a quick stop in the souvenir shop (where Leah put on a child’s Komodo Dragon costume for no reason other than, “It’s a Komodo Dragon”) and did some last bathroom trips before doing a final head count and piling in the cars. Once again, we confirmed that there is NEVER an uneventful day at Taman Safari.